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Dear First Born

favorite black and white mommy harper smiling

Dear First Born,

You amaze me. I meticulously tried to prepare you for the arrival of your twin sisters, now 11 months. I bought all the books. I brought you to ultrasound appointments so you could see the babies swimming around in Mommy’s belly. We took a Big Sibling class where you learned how to play with babies, change diapers, and be a big helper to your floundering parents. I brought you to the hospital so you could see where Mommy would deliver your sisters, so you wouldn’t be scared by the sterile hallways and fluorescent lights when you came to visit. I did everything in my power to make their arrival as easy and familiar to you as possible.

I was ready for the worst: potty training regressions, sleep issues, behavior disrupts. And sure, some of that occurred. But on the whole, you handled this “becoming a big sister to baby twins” thing like a champ. Better than I ever could have, by the way.

In one day you went from being our only, to being our oldest of 3. Wow – that’s a huge shift. So much comes along with that transformation. Suddenly, you weren’t the sole focus of our adoring eyes and attention. Suddenly, we weren’t able to give you exactly what you needed, at the exact moment you needed it. This was hard at times, especially at first when you were still getting used to the shake-up. But now? Now you are actively learning the art of patience, and understanding that there are more people in the world aside from just yourself.

All while I was trying to make sure you didn’t feel displaced in this new family of ours, what I didn’t realize was how giving you twin babies would teach you these life lessons – life lessons you’d learn at 3-years-old, and carry with you for the rest of your life.

In addition to this, you’re learning about empathy and compassion; when your sisters cry, you are sure to let me know right away, and want to be the first to comfort them. It surely can’t be easy to wait your turn – for hugs, kisses, breakfast, to be tucked in at night – but you consistently blow me away by how well you are learning to do just this.

No, it’s not always roses. We all have our moments filled with tears, raised voices, frustrations and big feelings. But overall, this massive overhaul of your life, our family and your place in it, has barely seemed to unsettle you. If anything, I think it has made you stronger, happier, and more confident in your very important roles and abilities in our house, and in the world.

Daddy and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You have exceeded our expectations ten-fold. You’re four, my love, but wise beyond your few years. And so to you, our First Born, we are endlessly proud of and grateful for you. Being a new big sister to twins is no easy task, and you’ve handled it with grace, openness and joy. Way to go, Lovebug. We love you.

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